May 2012
1 post
5 tags
Writing
Okay so I am having the hardest time getting myself motivated to write on any of my stories. I even bought a quill pen thinking that would help. I am running out of ideas as far as motivating myself. It’s not even that I don’t have ideas to put to paper they just seem to want to stay in my head. It’s very saddening because I used to love writing. I don’t know what to do...
April 2012
1 post
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March 2012
31 posts
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Pain Brings
Sharp pain pierces Can’t scream, so instead I hold my breath hoping Its Subtle ‘I can do this’ I think “shut up” he says More pain, guess not I’ve heard eventually everything goes numb Seems I am not privy to that pleasure Seconds, Minutes, Hours later I breath releaved the Prison of Pain has subsided replaced by a burning I can handle I look...
Why do I keep doing this to myself? When will I change? How can I fix this? Why is it that I feel one thing while feeling the exact opposite and do something that only increases my turmoil? I know it’s selfish but I wish I.had finished what I started a year ago. I mean the longer it continues, the more people that get hurt. Maybe, its unhealthy but is it so bad if it eases the pain?
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Show Me How
I don’t know where to go from here I don’t know how to fix this I don’t know what you want from me Tell me what I did wrong Tell me where I fucked up Show me how to love you right I don’t know how to do this What did I say wrong? Why are you shutting me out? I don’t know what you want from me Show me how to love you right I don’t know where to go from...
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“Jack and Jill went up the hill to some mara-juana. Jack got high, unzipped his...”
– Unknown
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“Even my imaginary friend doesn’t like you”
– unknown
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“:Don’t act stupid, we have world leaders for that”
– unknown
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Presence
I can feel His love as it warms my body I can feel the truth of His word His calming presence makes all my fears go away I can hear His voice comforting My heart, my soul I cry every time I remember the time in my life before I knew His love I can feel His arms keeping me from the cold of the world He helps my thoughts settle as I prepare to sleep I can feel His spirit residing...
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Feeling
The feeling of relief washes over me like the tide over rocks strong and forceful almost pulling me under, if not for the weight of something inside of the relief …Fear While not overwhelming it’s presence keep me from sweeping away under the lullaby that is peace.
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“When the little boy walked in on his parents having sex, his father told him...”
– unknown
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“Worst thing about being an egg: you only get hard once, you get eaten once, and...”
– unknown
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The Colors of Black
The colors of black are what keeps me alive. They help me breath the air I must to live. I love the colors that brighten my life against the dark powers of my house. I keep them close to my heart and think about them when I am scared. Living with them is a bitter mango bus smacking against a tall window under a pool. The colors of black leave me with the imprint of a face ...
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Living (After Stephen Dunn)
I live for watching my sister close her eyes slowly and take relaxed breaths, for feeling the soft skin of her temple. I live for that sound that escapes her mouth when I make a face. What is more rewarding than clearing the forecast in your neighbor’s day? I live for the light bulb breaking into a rain of words. I live for the complete silence of an empty dome. No...
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His Torture My Joy
I placed my lips to his grey skin. He sat as I put the fluffy red people prison over his pleading eyes. I show my small white teeth and added a blue gift topper to the top of a head I had to go on tiptoes to reach.
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Lust (After Stephen Dunn)
You’re always interrupting something, uninvited and unwelcome, strongly felt in silent awkwardness. Your most repeated gesture: The bashful smile that turn seductive. When I am with you I no longer feel anything else. You leave me wanting more than I think I want. You, diminished by cold water and deep breathing. Each time you become more than I can handle. You leave as...
4 tags
Her Screams
She takes her time rolling them tight. She leaves the scissors and walks to get a scarf. They itch! How do I get them out? They won’t roll out! …Light beams make the silver-covered savior shine on the table. My fingers barely close around the handles as the round hard things tumble down with small curls attached. They’re out! Her screams echo as I drop the...
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Ku Klux Grandpa
It hit me like a six ton truck, breaking my voice and piercing my heart, tasting of watered shampoo. Lights turn on bright, the smells of years old garbage strong. It wraps around my throat and the noise gets louder. The anger melting my chocolate body from inside. The red card of hatred Played out. He is as accepting as a seven shoe of a nine foot. I wait in hiding feeling betrayed. ...
6 tags
Azalea
She began and her voice biinded me She sings like an unmistakable Lily in a basket of rotten pears If she were alive I would claim Her lips mine, and sway to us I’ve never seen her nor has my ears wept to the up close crooning of her voice But I love to hear her; to feel the rain pounding against my chest as I lay with her on the grass She begins to lower her voice but cannot...
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Bad day
I suck at this whole function like a normal human being thing, in general. However, when in a relationship, I seem to bring new meaning to completely fucked up. I’m pretty sure I should just be grateful that he’s patient enough to stay but, honestly, how long can THAT last? I mean, shit, I’m tired of me already. Pretty sure I don’t deserve this and I am purposely trying to...
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“That room is filled with young people with demons and old people who never got...”
– Coworker
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Drowning
My body aches Fight the fatigue Keep kicking, keep treading I stretch my neck To hold my head Above the waves That splash against my lips Salty drops of fear Keep fighting, keep swimming On a heart pounding rhythm Eyes strain to find an escape But are burned by the bright sun My chest is tight with pain I close my eyes against hot light And slip under into The big Blue abyss
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Whispers of Praise
I whisper to you, Prince of Peace Praying you will give me strength While I lay down to sleep So that I’ll once again get up I whisper softly to you, oh Lord To protect me wherever I may go And I pray you will guide my way As I wake each day I whisper to the demons that try and tempt me That in your grace I know I belong And one day, I’m sure, I will Stand before you to join your mighty kingdom I...
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“You suck worst than a baby on a pigs tit”
– Unknown
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Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I’ll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? ’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I’ll rise. Did you want to see me...
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Suicide
It comes over me like a fog It fills my body, I can feel it Creeping to the end of my limbs Taking root in my heart like a weed It drops a veil over my eyes Lights are dimmed now, colors dull I see everything in a haze The cloud settles around my brain Enclosing it in grey Thoughts are slowed and heavy now Nothing is clear, nothing makes sense My head throbs with it Finally, it...
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Alone
I woke this morning All alone With no one to cuddle No one to hold No arms around me Holding me tight Keeping me warm Throughout the night I long for the day Please let it be near When I will awake To find you here Lying beside me Holding me tight Saying you’ll love me All of my life
tumblrbot asked: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?
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“Thinking is like parachutes, theoretically everyone knows HOW to use one but in...”
– Unknown 